...home!

The guy that sat next to snoring backpacker girl (see last post) was maybe mid-40s, dressed in a suit and carrying a brief case. 'Respectable' looking, some might say. He sat for a while amusing himself with sarcasm and tongue clicking. He then opened his briefcase and produced some A4 paper, and a huge set of colouring pens. I was intrigued at what masterpiece he was about to produce.
He sat for over an hour drawing a colour coded flow or process diagram so small and psychedelic that it surely couldn't be of any informational value to any one.
Perhaps it was a draft.

...home

On the early international train from Brussels to Amsterdam, a backpacking girl got on at Antwerp, launched herself across 2 seats and slept using her backpack for a pillow. Not long after, she started snoring, but was politely left by our fellow passengers, who contented themselves mostly with sarcasm, looks of derision and tongue clicks (infinitely more annoying than the snoring, in my opinion).
At Dordrecht, the train started filling up, but the new passengers chose to leave her to sleep and stood in the aisle. Come Rotterdam, the train was packed, and despite my sympathies for the tired backpacker, we only pay for one seat, and she was taking two, so she was woken and asked to make space for someone to sit.
My sympathy evaporated as she angrily informed the conductor that she wasn't to be woken until Amsterdam!
(She did capitulate eventually and slept leaning across the table for the remainder of her journey.)

...the way home!

Gawd bless the sheer existence of folk. Now, I'm guessing I would jeopardise this human by divulging any real detail her (or his) well, details. All I need tell you is that I once again, woke up on a night bus at least two light years from anywhere useful, and she (or he) gave me a lift home in their own private car. I didn't ask for this. I did explicitly outline my situation to her (or him!) but he (or she) wasn't driven by my disaster. Just good naturedness. I paid. I was asked to, but it was clearly not a bus deal, and it was clearly due to my own incompetence. For paying, I got home for less than a cab, and the individual was saved some petrol money to get home. Good on himerherrrrrrrr.............

...home!

....I live in Dutchland. I live in an apartment in a fairly (or unfairly) well to do neighbourhood. I'm not trying to say that those more well to-do or less so are any more or less inclined to a morning greeting. No sir, or madam. I generally keep myself to myself.
When I was a kid in Reading, in the late 70's/early 80's there was a Polish family living across the road. I probably shouldn't remember much about this/them, but I do. The kids were called Robert and Richard, they were a bit wayward, I don't (nor want or need to) remember their family name (Storey?!), and they had a dark red Vauxhall Viva. I thought this car was awesome. Anyway...that's a billion miles from my point! I keep myself to myself...I don't hide, I just don't talk particularly much to the neighbours.
Just after seeing a scantily clad in-line skater, I was bidden "Good morning!" by a Derge'n! In Inglese! Don't get me wrong, most Derge'ns are talented Inglese speakers, but how did he know?
Maybe he's an Hinglish!

Douglas Adams had a story about biscuits. This story is nothing like that at all.

I would personally just like for that Derge'n to have a great day at woik. Thanks Derge'n!

I bade him a cheery g'morrow too...lucky devil!
Jord o' flaprs

...home!

I was approaching my apartment block thinking only of warm and home and sleep and maybe food when I heard amongst the bird song, a swooshing of in-line skates. It was a guy on in-line skates (bear in mind this is about 6 AM) wearing a shocking combination of thong and vest....down the road!...just skating in possibly less than it is humanly possible to wear!
Seemed to be having a great time, to his credit.

Ugh.

...home!

I was only thinking the other day how I've not contributed to this here whatsit for a while...then three come along at once! This is the only similarity it has with buses.

One of the problems with this is that I can't think of the first one. Hmm.
It might actually have had to do with buses.
One, in fact.
Likely a night one.

...the toilet! 1st February 2010

I found a little white label about 2mm square with the number 7 on it.
I subsequently found a little white label about 2mm square with the number 32 on it.
This must be God's way of communicating next week's lottery numbers to me.
This is also proof of God.
Productive!

...band practice! 14th January 2010

Trams in Amsterdam combine spoken geographical references with reminders to check in and out of the tram. I was approaching Concertgebouw on the tram 5 when the usual message played. It's meant to be something like "Concert hall. Please remember to check in and out of the tram using your public transport chip card.". On this occasion the tram said "Concert hall. Plea..." and cut out.
Several seconds later, after some kind of electrical whirring sounds, the tram said "Cunt".
I was shocked...had I heard that?
"Cunt" it said again.
Really?! I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed.
"Cunt"
I was becoming a little embarrassed. This tram clearly had developed Tourette's Syndrome.
"Cunt...
...Concert hall, Please remember to check in and out of the tram using your public transport chip card."

...band practice! 14th January 2010

I was in the tram and I heard one of the old polyphonic mobile phones ring. It was a truncated theme from Ghostbusters...retro squared! It was intrusive but hypercool. It rang for a while. I don't know if that's because the owner liked the tune or because they couldn't find their phone. I mused that it might have been an old jacket they hadn't worn for 10 years, and they'd just found that missing phone.

...nowhere! 12th June 2007

On a dutch subtitled episode of Friends - when Ross goes to Rachel's office with a picnic because she can't make their anniversary - as Ross starts moodily packing up the hamper, Rachel's colleague exclaims "That's our 3 hole punch!". The Dutch subtitles translated this as something like "That's our vitamin drink!". I'm guessing the Dutch subtitlers weren't aware what (a) '3 hole punch' was.

...work! - 19th April 2007

There is a building I cycle by on the way to and from work whose airco unit sounds like the opening keyboard/chello note from Fade to Black by Metallica.

...nowhere. 22nd Jan 2007

Amusing chapter from the bible:

Solomon 4 : 1
How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead.

...the pub! 4th January 2007

The number 2 tram has been the new style tram for ages. People get used to this and queue in the place where they know the doors are going to open. Amused though, I was, by a couple of Dutch guys who refused to process the altered situation when the old style number 2 tram I was on pulled up and the door didn't open (you need to get in the back of these). Shoutin and a hollerin they were when it appeared they would miss it...banging on the door for openage. Tools.

...work! - 4th January 2007

I saw two mad professor types lowering a pedal car with two seats and two sets of pedals and tram wheels on to the museum tram line. I was running late but I wanted a go. I didn't stop. It looked great.